Jokes for the Road
Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?
Great food but no atmosphere.
Did you hear the one about the statistician?
Did you hear about the fool who keeps going around saying "no" anytime someone asks them a question?
Oh, it's you!
Did you hear about the farmer's boy who hated working in the country?
He went to London and got a job as a shoe-shine boy. So the farmer made hay while the son shone.
Did you hear about the woman who was so ugly she could make yogurt just by staring at a glass of milk for an hour?
Did you hear about the man from London who became very thirsty when he went to visit his relatives in Vancouver?
He drank Canada Dry.
Did you hear about the stupid shoplifter?
He was found squashed under a shop.
Did you hear about the dating agency for chickens that went bankrupt last week?
They couldn't make hens meet.
Did you hear about the very intelligent monster?
He was called Frank Einstein.
Did you hear about the man who listened to the match?
He burnt his ear.
Did you hear about the karate champion who joined the army?
The first time he saluted, he nearly killed himself.
Did you hear about the young man who got really worried when his nose kept growing until it was eleven inches long?
He thought it might turn into a foot.
Did you hear about the musical ghost?
He wrote haunting melodies.
Did you hear about the mad scientist who crossed a parrot with an alligator?
It bit off his arm and said, 'who's a pretty boy then?'
Did you hear about the florist who had two children?
One is a budding genius and the other one is a blooming idiot.
Did you hear about the kidnapping?
He woke up.
Did you hear about the pigeon who wanted to buy a famous London landmark?
He put a deposit on Big Ben.
Did you hear about the man who stole a truck load of prunes?
He's been on the run for the last month.
Did you hear about woman who couldn't find a singing partner?
She ended up buying a duet-your-self kit.
Did you hear about the man who drowned in a bowl of muesli?
A strong current pulled him under.
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word search games,
jigsaw puzzles and