Jokes for the Road
Q. Can you jump higher than a 10-story building?
A. Of course you can, buildings can't jump.
Q. How do you confuse a dumb person?
A. Put them in a circular room and tell them to face the corner.
Q. Why do Eskimos wash their clothes in Tide?
A. Because it's too cold out Tide.
Q. Why was the dumb person fired from the M&M factory?
A. He threw away all the ones with W's.
Q. What do you call a man with eight legs?
Q. What do you call an ant that's cold?
Q. What do you call a cow with no legs?
A. Ground beef.
Q. What do you call a pig with no legs?
Q. What do you call a dog with no legs?
A. It doesn't matter, it won't come anyway.
Q. What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?
A. It's time to go to sweep.
Q. What kind of car does an electrician drive?
A. A Volts-wagon.
Q. Why did the lion spit out the clown?
A. Because it tasted funny.
Q. Why is basketball so messy?
A. Because you dribble on the floor.
Q. What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?
A. A piano.
Q. Why was the computer afraid to land on the computer?
A. Because he did not want to get stuck to the world wide web.
Q. What is the meaning of minimum?
A. Small mother.
Q. What did the pig tell the other pigs in the mud?
A. Never trust a skinny cook.
Q. Why did Sammy the Seal cross the ocean?
A. To get to the other tide.
Q. Why did the turtle cross the road?
A. To get to the Shell Station.
Q. Where do you bring your dog when you go shopping?
A. To the barking lot.
Q. I have four fingers and a thumb but flesh and bones I have none. Can you guess?
A. A glove.
Q. What bus crossed the ocean?
A. A Columbus.
Q. There were two children caught by the police: one for playing with a battery and the other for playing with fireworks. What did the police do about it?
A. They charged one and let the other one off.
Q. What do you call a dinosaur with one eye?
Q. What are the 4 days of the week that begin with the letter T?
A. Thursday, Tuesday, tomorrow, today.
Q. A barrel weighed 20 pounds. A man came and put something in it, now it weighs 15 pounds. What did he put in it?
A. A big hole.
Q. How do you tell which end of the worm is the head ?
A. Tickle the middle and see which end laughs.
Q. Why did the witch need a computer?
A. She needed a spell check.
Q. What is the biggest pencil in the world?
Q. Why do teachers wear sunglasses?
A. Because students are very bright.
Q. How do you make a skunk stop smelling?
A. Cut off its nose.
Q. Why did the hedgehog cross the road?
A. He wanted to show his girlfriend what guts he had.
Q. What do you get if you cross a camel and a cow?
A. A lumpy milkshake.
Q. What do you get if you cross a fairy tale with a monster?
A. Beauty and the Creep.
Q. Why do you never clean a cows back hooves?
A. Because you might get a pat on the back.
Q. What did the bat say to his Valentine?
A. I love hanging around you.
Q. Why was the Egyptian child confused?
A. Because his Daddy was a Mummy.
Q. Did you hear about the idiot who had a pet zebra?
A. He called it Spot.
Q. Why did the girl throw the clock out of the window?
A. She wanted to see time fly.
Q. What did the big flower say to the little flower?
A. Hey bud!
Q. How did the farmer know how many cows he had after he got back from the sale barn?
A. He used a cowculator.
Our other categories include:
word search games,
jigsaw puzzles and