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Jokes for the Road

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Jokes for the Road  

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Q. What did the famous letter say to the other letter while they were sitting by a fan?
A. I never get any fan mail.

Q. Why did the boy bring a ladder to school?
A. He thought it was a high school.

Q. What do you call a nun with a washing machine on her head ?
A. Sistamatic.

Q. Why do giraffes have long necks?
A. Because their feet smell.

Q. What did one eye say to the other?
A. Between you and me something smells.

Q. What do birds say when they fly over DEKA?
A. Cheap, cheap.

Q. Why can't you feed a teddy bear?
A. Because he's already stuffed.

Q. Why did the turkey cross the road?
A. It was the chicken's day off.

Q. What has four wheels and flies?
A. A garbage truck.

Q. Why did the skeleton not go to the ball?
A. Because he had no body to go with.

Q. What is a girl, has feathers and lays eggs?
A. A chicken.

Q. What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
A. Anyone can roast beef.

Q. What did the big candle say to the little candle?
A. I'm going out tonight.

Q. Why did the skeleton cross the road?
A. To get to the other side.

Q. Why did the skeleton cross the road?
A. To get to the body shop.

Q. What did the big chair say to the little chair?
A. You're broken, I'm not.

Q. Why can you never get hungry in the desert?
A. Because you can eat all the sand which is there. (Sandwiches there)

Q. Why was the cat afraid of the tree?
A. Because of its bark.

Q. What did the dog say to the tree?
A. Bark, bark.

Q. What did one flea say to the other?
A. Shall we walk or take the dog?

Q. What kind of cola did the toad drink?
A. Diet croak.

Q. How do chickens dance?
A. Chick to chick.

Q. What do you call a chicken running down the road?
A. Fast food.

Q. What tool do you need in math?
A. Multi-pliers.

Q. What is the longest word in the dictionary?
A. Smile, because there is a mile in it.

Q. What do you call a man with a shovel on his head?
A. Doug.

Q. Why wasn't Cinderella good in baseball?
A. She ran from the ball.

Q. What did Porky Pig say to Petunia about her scrambled eggs?
A. That's all yolks.

Q. What do you get when you walk on two banana peels?
A. Slippers.

Q. Why did the man with one hand walk across the road?
A. To get to the second hand shop.

Q. What's white and fluffy?
A. White fluff.
Q. What's pink and fluffy?
A. White fluff in disguise.

Q. What's black and white and red all over?
A. A newspaper.

Q. Why do elephants paint their toenail's red?
A. To hide in cherry trees.
Q. How did Tarzan die?
A. Picking cherries.

Q. What happened when the plastic surgeon sat close to the fire?
A. He melted.

Q. What did the hat say to the necklace?
A. You hang around and I'll go on ahead.

Q. What do you call a pig that does karate?
A. A pork chop.

Q. What's the best way to catch a squirrel?
A. Go up a tree and act like a nut.

Q. Why do bees hum?
A. Because they don't know the words.

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